Hello again!

I have been extremely busy editing today. In fact I have edited so much, I have already had about fourteen cups of coffee and four squares of chocolate and it's not even lunch time!

[And ok I know the chocolate does not help the editing process in any way but let's just pretend!:)]

I thought I should have a break before my head exploded and I was going to use this time to take the dogs for a walk but then I decided to update you a little instead...so where should I start?

Quite a lot has happened recently. I have been approached by a very new publishing company who are interested in one of my children's stories. Since this still requires extensive editing [what MORE editing?] I have shelved the project for a few weeks whilst I get on with what I need to do first of all, which is get the current book I have been working on up to a certain standard.

But what I really want to tell you about is yesterday, when I conducted my author talk at the Women's Institute.

I had never been to a WI meeting before and felt strangely excited at the prospect. The WI holds a strange fascination - images of a secret ceremony reminiscent of the Mason's was almost what I expected, symbolic vestments and ritualistic handshakes what I was on the look-out for and animal-sacrifice what I almost feared!

Instead of any of those things I found a group of exceptionally pleasant and welcoming ladies, who discussed events with the easy familiarity of  long-held friendships.

A slightly older audience than I am used to, they were nonetheless attentive and interested with a notable exception. One elderly lady, well into her late-eighties either fell sound asleep during my discourse or actually died. It was a toss up between the two as to which was the most likely outcome.

Now I am not known for my boredom factor, so I surmised that this narcolepsy must have been due to the lady's age rather than the sound of my dulcet tones, however it did make me start when I looked up from reading my book excerpt to find her with her head rolled forward onto her chest and looking as pale as parchment.

"Oh God, someone get a mirror and let's check if she is breathing!" I wanted to shout but casting my gaze around I found that I was the only one who was wide eyed with panic...clearly this was not a one-off event.

I struggled to continue the reading, worried about the welfare of my elderly listener. So when another of the ladies drifted off, I knew I was done for! I kept my eyes on the page and stifled the giggles that threatened to well up in me.

I think it was only the applause at the end which roused them [or perhaps the vibrations restarted their hearts, who knows?]

But even so they were a truly wonderful group of women and if I ever get to their advanced age, I hope someone lets me nap when I am tired :)

I know the rest of the group enjoyed the talk immensely and I even gave them an extra laugh at the end of the session, when leaving my car in their car park, I popped over to the supermarket a few minutes away and then had to return to the car with two heavy shopping bags in tow, wearing a white summer dress in the sudden torrential downpour.

They drove past me out of the car park, literally rolling in their seats at the sight of the stupid, never-quite-in-the-real-world author with her hair plastered to her scalp and her dress stuck to her skin...

And as for the two old ladies who fell asleep? Well I will forever remain in their memories as that young author with the relaxing voice...

Happy Reading. :)

Look out for my forthcoming newspaper articles ...coming to a breakfast table near you ;)

Happy Reading!

Hello folks!


Just a quick post as I have an author's talk to conduct today. Here is the link to my recent interview.


http://t.co/4vtsMEm39L


Happy reading!

A quick note before I dash off through the door! A brilliant new author called H. J. Lawson has just interviewed me for her website.


More information will follow about this author and her work but for now here is the link to the site where the interview will appear very soon. http://www.hjlawson.com/


I promise to catch up with you soon.


Until then,


Happy Reading!

OH NO!!!!!

I had to post this to give you a laugh.

My latest book The Plan [working title only] is very different to everything I have written before and so when I took this excerpt :-

The door was wooden and heavy and looked as if it had been put there millennia ago to deter intruders. Hand on the handle she strained to listen for voices from within but the door was too thick for any sound to escape the confines of the inner rooms.

It took both hands to swing the door open and hold it wide enough that she could pass through. There was a small foyer and another door which led from there to the large parquette-floored hall. The other door was open, held ajar by a wooden table littered with flyers and pieces of paper.

Unintentionally she let the front door swing from her hands, wincing as it made a heavy clang back into its frame, the sound echoing across and throughout the sparsely furnished building. And in that instant of reveal she saw them turn their heads and gaze at her, the newcomer, the seeker of thinness, the new apostle to the book of diet…she saw them drink her in hungrily like so many vampires trapped in a morgue.

 

...and pasted into the writing analysis tool, I wondered what would come out. Apparently here I have written in the style of Dan Brown [The Da Vinci Code]. Now that's not good, is it?


Happy reading!  

Back at work! Yippee!

Here is the latest paragraph hot off the press of my newest novel. I am currently working on Chapter 6 so lots still to do.

“Do you remember the film Dirty Dancing?” Indie asked.

Suzie tilted her head to the side. “Are you saying I can’t dance because I’m not a skinny little thing like “Baby” was?” She thought of the slimness of the actress who had played the female lead. A strong gust of wind could have blown her away. No-one would ever have said the same for herself!

“No I’m saying that what “Johnny” said to her was true for you too,” Indie replied.

“No-one puts Baby in the corner?” Suzie asked thinking of the tight corner she had literally just spun herself into.

Indie laughed delightedly at the joke. “No idiot! When he told her she had to feel the music not just hear it!”

“OH!” Suzie realised Indie was right.

If you like dancing and you like a rom-com then this will be the book for you. If you like YA, sci-fi, fantasy, dystopian and/or post-apocalyptic genres, then check out my Owners series on Amazon. Just type my name into the author search bar and you will find the first 4 of The Owners books...more on their way!

Happy reading!

Well what an education Saturday was!


My almost 14 year old son had read that he could have his PlayStation controller customised for free by renowned graffiti artists if he took it into Birmingham City Centre on Sat 24th March.


Being part Scottish [and therefore 'careful' with money ;)] this sounded like an interesting idea to me and so train tickets in hand, we set off for the City.


This might not sound like a big thing for many of you reading this blog but believe me when I say that Bromsgrove town centre in no way compares to the hustling, bustling city it sits just beyond the fringes of.


Even though I once lived in Birmingham for over a decade, I am filled with a sense of wonder whenever I approach near enough to be drawn into its overwhelming aroma of perfumed shoppers, designer bags clutched at the ready, which sits comfortably atop a miasma of poverty, the two placed in juxtapositions to one another like a bad oxymoron.


It was raining. Hard, sharp rain which seemed to blister the sky with its anger. The sort of rain that soaks you in under a minute flat. The graffiti artists were in a modified cubicle outside, the queue already almost half a mile long by the time my son joined it.


My daughter and I left him to it, promising to return in half an hour to judge his progress. Little did we know it but this was to be a recurring theme throughout the day as it took just over five hours for him to get to the front of the queue.


During this time my daughter and I wandered the shops, I had a makeover [it used up at least ten minutes of the time and amused my daughter] and we got caught up in the Gay Rights Parade. I hadn't know that this was on and so was amazed at the sheer volume of people who lined the streets to watch it pass by.


I am a traditionalist as perhaps you know from my writing but I do uphold a belief that no one system of beliefs has any more right to exist than another. I actually don't care what people's sexuality is. What I do care about is that they treat each other with respect and dignity and receive the same in return. So therefore I have to say that whilst I understood the desire for the march and as some might protest, the 'need' for it, I would have preferred that it had been a little more tastefully done, a little less pantomimed as it were...


Brazilian dancers with costumes which left nothing to the imagination, men in drag, women in jackboots, men wearing nothing but a pair or underpants and a smile...it was all there. I watched the audience with curiosity. Had they all stumbled upon the parade as I had? Unlikely! The crowd was far too huge for that to be a probability. I saw same sex families with young children [adopted perhaps?] held aloft, the more traditional male/female pairings with young children, gay couples of both denominations and groups of heterosexual men and women ...and to my knowledge and undying pride, not a foul word was spoken by any of them. And it brought a lump to my throat.


Across the world people slay other people, they fight in brutal, bloody wars over little scraps of land or ideals that demand tyranny and oppression of the masses...and yet here was Birmingham being open and accepting and liberal and I loved how it made me feel!


So well done Birmingham! Well done all you Brummies. You rock!


Happy reading.

I don't think I will get tired of this writing analysis thing. A moment ago in order to show my son the link, I typed a random paragraph which I intend to use in another of my books. Here it is :


Heart bleeding, pumping fresh love I looked back at him anxiously. He was gone! No sight nor sound nor breath of him remained. Gone without even a whisper to move the stillest air. My heart bled once more; thick, red viscous drops splattered on the wet, musty earth.


So come on now guys, guess whose writing this is closest to in terms of vocabulary, syntax, grammar and general style...


Are you thinking? Are you guessing? Have you got it yet?


Answers in a postcard to ...




Ok so here it is! This time I write like Stephen King.


Happy reading!

I have been asked to contribute to a publication by The Society for Curious Thought. Since I have a lot of thoughts and most of them are curious [if not downright peculiar], I thought I would give it a go!


I was asked about my opinion on the matter of growing socio-economic inequality across the world and what I thought made a fair society.


Here's my ha'penny worth. [Lovecraft, Joyce and Tolstoy eat your heart out - please see previous blog post.]  


In my opinion a fair society is one where each and every voice carries equal  weight; each opinion is considered as carefully as the next; every consideration is extended impartially to every citizen and where neither creed, colour, affluence, influence or intelligence dictate a divide.


Utopia? Perhaps. Impossibility? I hope not!


Happy reading.


Carmen.

Who am I? You can call me Carmen or James or...

I took a little bit of The Owners Volume I : Alone and input it into this analysing tool and according to this I write like H.P. Lovecraft.


This was the section I used :


The harsh sunlight, which pierced the window in its strong and direct glare, was now mellowed and softened in the burnished reflections of the polished wooden walls. The knots and imperfections of the wood resembling tiny worlds of intricacies, too complex to be fully understood.


In passing, he glanced through the window to find the view as breathtakingly beautiful as ever. An amazing variety of trees stood like proud sentinels around a spectacular natural lake. Trees stretched on into infinity in every direction – luscious light-green foliage appearing to vie with emerald and jade for the eye’s attention. Yet the trees also seemed to be collaborating with one another, joining forces in an attempt to outdo the drama of the brilliant blue sky reflected in the shimmering perfection of the silvery lake.


This scene, with its myriad colours and composition was so intense and so contrastingly stunning, it almost made San’s eyes hurt. Each tree was unique, either in size or shape or shade to its neighbour, just as the houses lodged within the heart of the tree, sitting snug amongst its highest branches were different. There were large tree houses and small ones, round ones and rectangular ones and even some which didn’t fit any one particular shape but instead were a weird blend of curves and angles.


Similarly the colours of the houses were all different. No, actually he thought, that’s not true. The colour was all the same – green – it was the sheer variety of shades of green which made them seem so dramatically different. Yet what struck San at that precise moment, was how each tree house conformed to and in fact complimented, the size and shape of the tree it was lodged in. It was almost as if each house had merged and blended with the branches to become a living part of its tree.  



Here it is http://iwl.me/s/147eabd8




Then I took this except from The Owners Volume III : Dark Side of The Sun and performed the same analysis :


Jack stepped into the darkness. Even in the seconds that his eyes took to adjust to the lack of light, he was aware that he stood next to Seth once more. There was a musty smell in the room. Dank and with the sharp acrid stench of urine, it was all he could do not to heave. Whoever was in the building had clearly given up all pretence of civilisation.


And they were aware of his and Seth’s presence. There was a vague sound of susurration, as if the person was making soft whisperings to themselves or another but it was too indistinct for him to make out its source or what was said.


“Step back slowly. Do not turn around,” Seth told him without moving.


“Why?” He knew he should probably just do as Seth suggested but having come this far, he wanted to know what they had found.


The susurration seemed to increase in response to his words, as if the person or persons were becoming agitated at the thought of them leaving. “This is why,” Seth slowly pulled a torch from his pocket and flicking it on, levelled it at the darkest corner of the room.


Hair tangled and knotted, what was left of the scalp hung down in front of the skeleton’s face. Whilst not strictly a skeleton, it was how Jack had to think of the body which was even now being hungrily devoured by the biggest pack of coyotes Jack had ever seen.  Bigger than the average dog, their normally lean bodies seemed fuller and longer than normal.



And this was the analysis  http://iwl.me/s/147eabd8




So far, so consistent. Now the biggie. What happened when I put in a section from my latest book [not yet published] Split Decision?.


Here is the excerpt I used :


The atmosphere in the car was suddenly thick with sexual tension. I could feel all of them straining to hear my answer, listening with their groins rather than their brains.

A primitive fear coursed through me riding a tidal wave of doom. There was no right answer here, only a series of wrong answers. My heart pounded at the steel cage it was entrapped within, banged itself into the padded walls around it and no-one heard it scream. No-one but me. Whatever I answered, I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t! It was a circular route to Hell.

And the result? This time I wrote like James Joyce apparently!  http://iwl.me/s/d760c1b4




Then this excerpt from my current work-in progress, The Plan :


Suzie regarded her companion with wide eyes. None of her friends spoke like this, it was not the type of conversation she was used to having but she liked the honesty of it, the cut and dried truthfulness.

And you will never guess who came out this time! Leo Tolstoy!

And the proof is here  http://iwl.me/s/698342ba

Does that mean I am split personality???


[I wonder what would have happened if I had cut and pasted all the different excerpts into one analysis...perhaps I would have blown the software to smithereens!]

Happy reading!

Here is a little bit of my latest novel, currently entitled The Plan.


It is intended for adult consumption so not much of it will be pasted here, as I am aware that children and preteens also view this blog, following other books or series of books that I have written or which are currently underway. So relish the little bits that I can post!


Suzie regarded her companion with wide eyes. None of her friends spoke like this, it was not the type of conversation she was used to having but she liked the honesty of it, the cut and dried truthfulness.


Now to other news. As you are aware, Volume IV of The Owners has been recently released. Volume V and VI will follow shortly as both have been written. Split Decisions is awaiting an agent and The Trouble with Mellillia, Ascension and The Boy Who Saved Pigeons are currently on hold until The Plan is finished.


Early next year I will begin work on The Owners once more and hope to fire off Volumes VII and VIII.
I'll let you know if there are any changes to this plan!


[Oh and in between times I will be trying to fit in a life!]


Happy reading!

Hello!


I am now on Chapter 3 of my newest novel. Its working title is The Plan but that will no doubt change as the story progresses.


It is a little more introspective than I thought it would be but I 'get' the character now and I see where she is coming from. Some of you may identify with her...she is all of us and each and every woman that we pass in the street without really noticing. That woman who once was a person before life and circumstances sucked the joie de vivre from her existence...Let's just say she is about to get it back in a major way.


Anyway, for your delectation here is a little bit from Chapter 3. No doubt by the end it will be elaborated on and changed beyond recognition but here it is in the raw:-

She refilled the dogs’ water bowls and gave them both a treat but when her hands reached automatically for the biscuit barrel she pulled them back as if stung. She had seen him not so long ago. He hadn’t seen her though, he was too wrapped up in the woman by his side. And of course the new woman was everything she was not…slim, youthful, vibrant, childfree and without a care in the world. If Suzie could have placed a bet on it, she would have bet that her knickers were hot bubblegum pink and that her bikini line had follicles which had been beaten into submission.

She had frozen when she had seen them, arm in arm wandering around the shops as if the reality of them had turned her to stone. That thought had brought another, unkinder, one as companion. In Arabic countries they stone women like her, she had thought.

I watched Saving Mr Banks the other night. I wasn't looking forward to the film and it certainly wasn't my choice but even so I enjoyed it immensely.


You see I had erroneously been told that it was about the making of Mary Poppins by Mr Walt Disney but in actual fact it was about so much more than that... Within minutes it became clear that it was about the author's own childhood and how she had striven to find a meaning in her father's death, which she had witnessed at an early age. For her, this was not just a story full of light and jollity but instead had the gravitas of a psychological interpretation of how families can be drawn tighter or fall apart or in very rare instances, perform both feats simultaneously.


The real plot of the film as I understood it, was to show a woman writer who was staunch in her belief of how her characters should be portrayed and her writing integrity upheld. At the very end we heard the real voice of the author, her prim, properly enunciated tones allowing or disallowing changes to the manuscript for its celluloid interpretation. It brought a lump to my throat.


We are all so much more than we seem on first glance. Long live Mary Poppins!


P.S. My new novel Split Decisions is now finished. I hope it will be out soon.

Many thanks to those who turned out to meet me at Droitwich Library on Wednesday morning and at Bromsgrove Library on Wednesday evening. I had a great time talking about writing and my books.


Today I have been giving a talk to Halesowen Reading Group, a lovely, interested and interesting group of ladies. What pleased me most was the comment that one lady made to me after the talk. She confessed that she had not been looking forward to the event at all as she was not the least bit interested in sci-fi but had been so intrigued and interested by my talk she was actually the first of the group to buy a signed copy! Moreover, she asked if she could put my name forward to do a talk with the school she works at!


Another lady told me her grandson is already a fan, having bought the first three volumes with his pocket money and is looking forward to the recently released 4th volume. The same lady then went on to buy signed copies of the volumes for herself.


So you can see why I am all of a glow even if the scene outside my window looks like it is trying to depict the setting of Volume II.


On Monday the kids go back to school and I go back to writing...can't wait!


Happy Reading!


:)

OOPS!

I forgot to mention that The Owners Volume IV :A New Epoch will be free to download over the next few days. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity so don't miss out!

Happy Reading!

If there is one out there he will find me...

Did I ever tell you what an attraction I hold for nutters? No? Well I'll let you in on the secret now shall I? Nutters love me. They simply adore me. I swear that to them I have a neon sign above my head, which proclaims in big glowing capital letters "THIS WOMAN WILL LISTEN POLITELY TO ALL YOUR VERBAL RUBBISH!"

Whenever they see me they head straight for me like a heat-seeking missile and I know I am done for. My latest nutter ambush came yesterday as I was minding my own business in the local park. I had sat down on a bench, dogs at my side and was reading the newspaper whilst my children played on the apparatus.

A man appeared from nowhere in front of me and began to fuss my dogs. Now this is not as rare an occurrence as it might seem since I have a Rottweiler [people either love or loathe them] and his initial conversation  did not ignite my fight or flight response. He did not look insane or like he was homeless and nor did he give off any pungent aroma. But he was a nutter alright and one of the most scary types...the ones who appear normal up until they say something so out-there, so extreme, that they made the hair on the nape of your neck stand up in fright.

Apropos of nothing he asked me if I could see a natural cloud in the sky. As yesterday was a lovely day I agreed there were no clouds to be seen, only to be informed that there have been NO natural clouds for the last 150 years and that what looked like clouds were actual poison gasses put there by the six major banks in the world.

I nodded politely whilst trying to look for a means of escape. It was at that point he went on to drone on about all his conspiracy theories and the "proof" behind them [one was that all of our DNA was stored in little vials in the Vatican] and I kept looking for my way out.

You see that is the main problem with these nutters - you can be in  a crowded place when they approach but somehow they single you from the crowd and they have such an insidious manner that you feel threatened and intimidated without them overtly doing anything other than talk. You can be surrounded by people, as in fact I was and no one would even realise there was anything wrong until it was too late.

In fairness he didn't attack me or say anything to make me think that was likely but I fear it is a question of time before his feeling of paranoia brought on by these extreme theories  cause him to attack someone. And that someone will probably never see it coming.

I am all for care in the community but with that comes  a responsibility for the authorities to ensure that medication and recommendations are adhered to. There is enough random killings in the world without us burying our heads on the sand and leaving such people to their own devices.

But perhaps you think I am making too much of this? Well walk a little way in my shoes and the next time someone comes up and tells you that the world is controlled by three key cities and that most of the people you see around you are drones, set in place by a few ruling families to spy on you and keep you in the dark...see how you feel?

Come to mention it though, sounds like a brilliant idea for a sci-fi book...

Happy reading folks!

This was my horoscope this morning:-




Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And so, of course, is tomorrow. As was yesterday. That's the thing about today. But here's what I can tell you about this particular today. It carries an astrological seal of approval that makes this particular truism exceptionally apt for all who share your sign. The Grand Cross formation of four heavenly bodies including Mars and Pluto in Cardinal signs makes this far more than any old ordinary 'first day of the rest of your life.' You will see what I mean by this soon enough! This week's Lunar Eclipse and 'Grand Cross' together is the most significant astrological influence for some time. Anything and everything positive can happen.


Sounds good doesn't it? Now perhaps I should tell you what I have been up to...


I am well into the first week of the Easter holidays and up until now the weather had been unseasonably warm.


As the weather has changed back to dull and gloomy, today I have been doing a fair bit of spring cleaning [I know- yuk!] and under piles of dirty clothing, bits of torn paper, broken toys and other paraphernalia I found a mouldy half-eaten ham sandwich in my nine year old's bedroom and various empty chocolate bar wrappers in my eleven year old's room. It was at that point I decided not to venture into the fourteen year old's room!


I have also been informed that if I don't get a new aerial within the next few weeks the big 60 inch tv will begin to fail due to lack of power from the aerial and pixilation problems.


I still can't work the new laptop and my guttering is growing a more profuse display of plants and flowers than the garden! The fence between myself and my neighbour is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and I have melted [yes melted] a corner of my kitchen cupboard by stupidly siting the toaster underneath it.


So if this is truly the first day of the rest of my life then God help me! Please, please, please can I turn back the clock to the old life?  ;)


Normal service will be resumed after the Easter hols when I can get back to editing Split Decision and writing my next up-and-coming novel.


Until then - Happy Reading!

And now I present the wonderful Mr Hugh Grant.

Today I had to contact Hugh Grant as I have used his name in my newest book. Here is a little snippet for your delectation:-

 “You know who he is? Your father?” Josh asked stupidly, as if he had not been following the conversation. “So who is he?”

Lucas took a huge breath before he let loose this momentous piece of information. “He’s Hugh Grant!”

“What?” Josh snorted as if the idea was preposterous.


“She went to London for a few weekends before I was born. She’s never talked much about them and when I ask she goes quiet, just like she does when I ask about my dad. She loves movies, especially ones with Huge Grant in them.”


Lucas stopped talking long enough to examine himself in the long mirror attached to the wardrobe door. Did he look like Hugh Grant? He had the same dark hair and general build but his face was rounder than the actor’s and had none of his fine bone structure. Then again everyone said he looked quite like his mum so that was no indication one way or another.


“None of that means anything…” Josh began.


Lucas interrupted. Josh was merely jealous because up until now he had had the upper hand since his father was a famous stunt man in Hollywood. But Hugh Grant had topped that. Hugh Grant could top anything. He was the scissors that cut the paper in Scissors, Paper, Rock and the paper that covered the rock in the same game. Hugh Grant was everything. And he was his father!






If he gets back to me and asks to be removed then I will have to do so...until then...


Happy reading.

I'm surprised to see you in here!

Well a character has popped up in my new book that I didn't expect. Her name is Valerie and she is very like my late grandmother.


I didn't intend to base this character on my grandmother at all - in fact I had her down for a very different personality type altogether but every time she spoke or performed any action, I saw and heard my grandmother in my head.


Sometimes this happens and when it does I always go with the feeling. I think it happens for a reason but whatever that is, it is so deeply buried in my subconscious, I cannot get to it.


So it looks like Valerie will be a larger character than I had originally anticipated. Just like my grandmother, she cannot let a good gossip pass her by.


Lets hope she is just as wise and just as endearing!

Am I normal at all?

Today I should be editing Split Decisions but instead I am writing a chapter from another book. I have workmen digging up my drive as I am having a new one laid and between making tea for them and stopping the dog barking, I can't concentrate enough to edit.


And yet I can write - it seems the noise does not hinder the writing process, only the editing. How weird is that? I guess that does go to prove that my writing comes from so far down inside of me it is not really a conscious thing, whereas the editing is.


One day I am going to investigate this further...but I guess it can wait until the drive is done! :)