Help! I'm in trouble!

Do you remember my blog about helping out in a friend's office whilst the secretary was away on a cruise? If not scroll back a little...


Anyway she is back now and not too happy with me!


The office is situated at the back of a factory. My dad used to work in a factory. My mum used to work in a factory and even ex-boyfriends of mine have worked in factories, so I don't hark from a blinkered existence.


I understand the high jinks that go on there, the banter and camaraderie and I also understand that there is a level of pornography that is acceptable within the confines of the actual factory unit.


However I did not expect to be sitting at a desk with a large calendar of a naked woman at my back, especially since this was a female dominated office!


The said naked female was beautiful and the image was artfully composed, lit in subtle tones of granite and light grey...but hey in my eyes a woman with no kit on is still a woman with no kit on.


Short of being a woman who actually enjoys another naked female [which I'm not] I really didn't want to be confronted with another woman's breasts every time I reached for the phone.


But I didn't want to just remove the calendar as it was not my place to do so. So I typexed a white bra and pants onto the lovely lady. even for me it was a good rendition. That white correction fluid makes a lovey lacey look over photographic paper I discovered.


To my eyes it was a compromise. Lovely lady stayed up on the wall in her artful pose and I didn't have to keep seeing her bits.


Ah but not so when the real secretary arrived back. Turns out that the calendar was given to her by her husband and came from his factory. She is livid!


Ok I get that it wasn't mine to deface but I have to ask myself why a lady would want such a thing up behind her, especially when the lady is almost at retirement age and in no way resembles the image herself.


So I am in the dog house! ;)


But I have only one thing to say. NOT sorry!


Maybe if the country was a bit more modest in general and we were not confronted with semi-pornographic images at every turn our culture would not be deteriorating the way it is...


Think on it a bit, why don't you?


x

I don't usually put external links on here but this is something I just had to share.


I don't think there is a single phrase here I don't use on a daily basis.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nem0bkErGVY

Apologies are required I believe.

To all the other Ceroc dancers at the venue I attended last night, I have this to say : 'please accept my sincere apologies'.

Now I know that you are wondering what I did that was so awful I feel I have to offer a public apology, so I will tell you. But first I have to set the scene a little, so bear with me.

Imagine if you will, a smallish, very flat-footed woman who has low blood pressure which gives her a tendency to dizzy spells. Got that image? Good!

Now dress her in a flowing skirt and top and slide her feet into a pair of neck-breakingly high heels and there I am.

Having previously attended many Ceroc sessions in the past, I had somehow managed to convince myself that even though I had not been to a lesson in over a year, I would magically remember everything, every move, every dip and every signal.

More than that...somewhere in my befudddled brain I had managed to convince myself that in my absence I would still somehow have managed to absorb all the lessons I had missed, as if by turning up on one night, I could suddenly do every step perfectly, having gleaned it almost by osmosis from the dance teacher.

I was wrong. Oh boy was I wrong. I catapulted myself around the room, much to the initial amusement of most of the other dancers. Spinning like a drunken whirling dervish I collided with more than one other dancer, unable to spin on the spot as I had intended. Strangely, their amusement soon wore off.

But worse was to come...on executing a particularly difficult turn, I found the heel of my shoe firmly imbedded in the calf muscle of another lady dancer...and on trying to extricate it, I think I may have sliced rather a lot of skin from her leg.

There was a howl and possibly some blood [thankfully it was too dark to really see but there could not have been much, or we would all have been sliding around in it on the dance floor].

I apologised profusely at the time but the damage was done. I guess the fact that I did not remove myself from the premises immediately, only added salt to the wound, so to speak!

So here it is...people of Ceroc Bromsgrove, I apologise unreservedly.

But unfortunately for you, I had a great time and will certainly be back...

P.S. I was in town today and noticed that the price of football shin-pads had rocketed. Apparently, due to the business law of supply and demand, local demand has risen exponentially and prices have sky-rocketed...

Now there couldn't possibly be a connection there...or could there?

So be warned - I could be heading for a Ceroc venue near you! Get those old shin-pads dusted off! ;)