A more adult read

I think this book might be one of the hardest I have ever written in some ways. It's about what happens after a marriage breaks down and how the main character, Sarah, has to forge a new life for herself.

As I alluded to in my last blog, some of it is written from personal experience and some from the experiences others have shared with me. I have to thank you all for being so brutally honest and baring your souls to me. What you have told me has made me laugh and sometimes cry, but each and every time, it has informed my characters of how they would act, what they would think and what they would say.

So to all of you once again, thanks.

Because of the adult content of this book I will be unable to post as many snippets as I usually would, so here is just a little bit to tide you over.

“Shall we go see the new house then?” she said.

Neither of the girls answered. Perhaps young as they were, they realised there was really no choice in the matter.

Her hands shook on the steering wheel but she manoeuvred the car with care. “Here we are.” Her voice was falsely cheerful.

The girls looked unenthusiastically up at the low-rise block of flats.

“You said there wasn’t a garden, but there is,” Kaitlin accused, pointing at the narrow expanse of grass between the building and the car park.

“That’s not a garden honey. That’s just a strip of grass and it’s for everyone to use.”

“Everyone?” Ellie said, sounding confused.

Sarah looked at the building again. Not as she naturally perceived it, as a group of connected flats, but as her daughters saw it, a huge imposing residence.

“That isn’t one big house. It’s lots of little houses called flats, all put together in one place.”

As ever, if you are in need of a good read, take a look at my dystopian sci-fi series, The Owners or for young adult romance/thriller, Split Decision. Ascension will be out early next year. And many more to follow.

Happy Reading! x

New book on the horizon...

Hello again!

If you have heard any of my talks, you will know that I am compelled to write according to which characters shout the loudest to attract my attention. That's why I am now working on a new book entitled Saving Grace.

Grace is a young girl who is torn between her parents as the adults struggle to cope with their disintegrating marriage. The story is told from her perspective and is darkly comical. I think you are going to like her a lot.

Here is the very first page of Saving Grace. If you enjoy it please take a look at my other books.

N.B. Split Decision will be out in March.

The Boy Who Rescues Pigeons, The Plan and Ascension will follow shortly.

Chapter 1

 

 

The rain slashed at the window pane, thick tears of anger streaming down the glass before running off the window sill to puddle on the ground outside. Grace turned her face away from the crying window and closed her ears to its wet misery.

“Well maybe it isn’t YOUR fault but it isn’t MINE either you know!” The shrieking voice had a quiver at the end which tugged painfully at Grace’s heart.

A momentary silence followed, during which the continual cry of the rain seemed to become deafening. “No it’s never your fault, is it? That would just be ridiculous.”

Even heard through the closed toilet door she could hear his strident tones, full of sarcasm.  It was a funny word – sarcasm. She had learned it only last week during an English lesson. What had struck her at the time, was that she had always been able to recognise it in his voice, she simply hadn’t had a name for it. Now she did.

It was a shame to use such a pretty sounding word for such a vile meaning. Perhaps that particular tone of voice could have been called ‘I’m being nasty but pretending it’s funny’ instead, or inpif for short. His voice was hard and brittle, his sentences so sharp and cutting, she almost couldn’t remember the soft tones and rounded words of so long ago.

Grace stood rooted to the spot, hands outstretched in the bathroom sink. As if hypnotised, she watched the water swirling over her soapy fingers, washing away the suds and the dirt together, making no distinction between one or the other, rinsing her free of anything and everything.

Sometimes she wished she could do that with her whole life… just rinse it clean away. Gurgling, the water swirled away and down the drain, the sound so much like laughter it made her wince. It was a sound which lived only in her memory.

Which way is up?

I wrote yesterday about my feelings and I hope you were not troubled in reading them.Because I worried that I might have upset you with my vague uneasiness about the future.


So with that in mind, I discussed it with a group of friends and I made a startling discovery...they all felt pretty similar to how I felt. And yet each and every one of them was in the complete opposite of my own personal situation.


Here was a group of women who also feared what the future held...who also felt that their lives were lacking in some way. And I got to wondering whether this was endemic in our society or whether it was just testament to the old saying of 'misery loves company'.


But the truth has got to be something deeper hasn't it? Religion or lack of it has no bearing on the discussion as some of the women were true believers and others strict atheists.


Finances seemed to have no bearing either as some of the women came from affluent households and others of more modest ones.


Nationality and the idea of culture that is born from this played no part, as I was born in Scotland, one of the women was Irish and the others English.


Finally educational status was no indicator either as levels ranged from University education to local comprehensive to village school. Some of the women went out to work, some did not.


Many years ago I remember reading something about how all of the above both singly and in combination can affect a person's potential to feel happy about life.  I believe the term was coined 'happiness quotient' although it was a long time ago and I may be mis-remembering it.


So what is wrong with us all...why this apathy and worry? Mid-life crisis? I think that is too glib an answer. I also think the truth lies much, much deeper and some of it does indeed stem from childhood.


We are taught from a young age that meeting someone and settling down with them is the ultimate goal. Its the sugar coated ending on the romantic comedy, the finale of many novels and films. But its not the end, in fact it is only the beginning. However it is a beginning that is perhaps more mundane than the lead up to it. It is the start of routines and seeing the same face sitting across from you every morning and having the same conversation time and time again.


I am no psychologist or anthropologist but I think that maybe it doesn't have to be that way. The happiest couples in my social circle have active hobbies which they do together and continue to learn from. They socialise regularly with other couples and they talk about their issues and problems with an honesty and forthrightness that allows them to be fully understood.


Talk might be cheap but it is also invaluable. Just make sure you mean what you say.