Putting the world to rights...

 Thanks to author D. M. Needom for this interview. 

Click here.

Merry Christmas!

Hello again readers!

We are fast approaching Christmas and it's going to be a very different one for us. Not only do we have a different dog in the house ( one who despite all her nervousness and strangeness, is weirdly indifferent to the Christmas tree and decorations) but I'm feeling as if we are a little thin on the ground.

As you may know from reading my blog, we have had lots of losses over the past two years, and with my eldest now away at Uni, I feel somewhat diminished, smaller in myself. Having taken my third child to some college interviews recently, and with the middle one starting to think about universities, it's clear I'll soon have to face 'empty nest syndrome'.

It doesn't seem that long ago that I was dropping my youngest at nursery, and I wonder what happened to all the intervening years. Inside my head I'm still a young woman. The exterior of me tells a different story, I'm afraid.

So I've made some major decisions. I'm the sort of person who likes to take stock of their lives and I've come to realise that I need make a move towards vegetarianism. I was veggie for two whole years about 28 years ago. I'll admit I found it hard going.

But back then there wasn't the choice of vegetarian foods there is today. Back then it was soya mince or nothing. The other problem was and still is, that I don't like potatoes and I actually don't like many vegetables, other than salad leaves and broccoli... kinda makes it difficult to have any variety.

Nevertheless I'm going to cut down on meat with a view to becoming totally vegetarian in time. So - wish me luck. I think it's the right thing to do, especially as my body gets older and needs more nutrition and less rubbish, and from a moral viewpoint.

I'll let you know how I get on.

Happy reading!

Christmas wishes.

To all my readers, I wish you a fabulous Christmas and a coming year filled with wonder and delight... and because I'm a generous spirit, even if you're not one of my readers, I still wish you the above. [See? I am generous ;) ]

Once the kids go back to school, I will be straight into my new works, one drama/ romance film, a horror film, and a dystopian science fiction film.   As you may know, I like a bit of diversity. 

I am also hoping to move some of my stack of  unpublished books forward. The problem with these, is that I have to make a decision and I've always been rather indecisive - ask anyone who's ever sat waiting for me to make a choice from a menu!

Where I can, I promise to keep you up-to-date with my projects, but this is harder to do with film than books, as so much is out of my control. 

So until then - happy reading! x

Naughty or Nice?

With Christmas almost here, my thoughts have turned to the strangers who have been most helpful to me, this year. Or not.

It's only a bit of fun, but I do advise you to make your own list, as not only does it allow you to vent your angst over something, but it allows the wider picture to be seen, whether you reach a balance or whether you've had a year full of annoying, petty, problems.

NAUGHTY                                                      NICE                        

The man who shouted abuse at me,         All the fellow dog- walkers who stopped  

because I pressed the button                    to chat with me. 

for the lights to change. 

The woman who complained about       Glasgow Council, who helped me 

me placing things outside of my            dispose of my dad's old furniture, 

dad's flat for the council to pick up.       after he passed away. 

(The furniture was next to the bins as

I'd been told to do.)

                                                                                    

The sales assistant at Charford Post       The OTHER sales assistant, who just did it 

Office, who sent me away with my           the next day, when I returned, 

heavy parcel unposted, as                       refusing all help from me.

'she wasn't allowed' to  lift it, 

( fair enough) but insisted that I

couldn't place it where all the other

large parcels waited to be collected

by the Parcelforce driver, as only she

could do that!

Beko manufacturers and AO for           Argos for replacing my broken vacuum  

making and selling me a dishwasher     cleaner, without the slightest quibble.

that broke the DAY AFTER the 12

month warranty ran out.

I could go on, but I won't, as I think you get my point.

Life is made up of the things that happen to us and how others help us through those times.

Going forward, I'm going to do my damnedest to be on other people's 'nice' side.

I hope to see you there! ;)

Happy reading.

A quick catch-up.

With Christmas fast approaching, I'm working hard to get the three films I have been writing, finished and signed off.

Of course in this industry, nothing is ever actually signed-off until it is made into film, and even then scenes may be lost to the cutting room floor, or new ones inserted.

Part of the reason for this, is because making a film is like asking a bunch of theoretical scientists to all agree on a particular theory. Everyone has their own version, no matter how minutely different that is from everyone else's ideas. So it is with film.

Even the most brilliant scripts will be moulded to fit a director's mindscape, diverging from the original idea as conceived by the screenwriter. It's inevitable. It's just a question of how much really.

But I am very lucky in the quality of the teams I am working with - top notch directors and producers - people who really know their stuff, and who are happy to let me get on with my side of things.

So, after Christmas, what are the plans?

I will be working on two brand new films. One of which is set in Cyprus.

I'm really looking forward to getting my teeth stuck into this one, not least because of the rich tapestry of the story I will create, but because of how different it is to things I've written before.

So until I catch up with you again - have fun, eat well and happy reading.

Carmen. x

A whole new year to fill up with good fortune and sheer determination!

Being born in Scotland, I have a real 'thing' for New Year that, quite frankly I don't feel for Christmas.

Sure, Christmas has the tinsel, the trees, the presents, the 'goodwill to all mankind', but New Year has the glamour, the excitement, the sheer 'ride the future by the seat of your pants' appeal, that Christmas can never have.

So imagine my excitement to find this newest review on Amazon today:-

"5 Stars : Brilliant and Brutal Coming-Of-Age Story

Split Decision, essentially a coming-of-age novel, is both brilliant and brutal – brilliant in its execution and brutal in the sensitive subject matter it explores. The decision Natalie makes impacts on many and she is not the same person at the end of the story as she is at the beginning… It is the second book that I have read by the author Carmen Capuano, the first being Ascension, a dystopian thriller. Although the subject matter is completely different, I found the story just as engaging and thought- provoking.

The plot begins in a shoe shop where best friends, teenagers Natalie and Stacey are shopping. The new pair of shoes which Natalie purchases – in a style which is way out of character for the sensible teenager, can be viewed as a metaphor for both her step into adulthood and what subsequently occurs. Natalie is soon called upon to make a split second choice and her decision heralds a chain of unexpected and shocking events.

The author does an excellent job of depicting the trials and tribulations of the teenage years and how they effect existing and new relationships: a time of burgeoning sexuality, when we strive to forge our own identity, sometimes putting us in conflict with our families who find it difficult to come to terms with their offspring entering adulthood. The balance between protecting their children whilst allowing them the freedom to grow is often a difficult one and I felt that the author touched on this in a sensitive fashion. I certainly identified with Stacey and Natalie from memories of my own teenage years and recognised how easily events could take the path they did.

The characters, the young people and the adults, were all very believable and the author is to be congratulated on using the events to illustrate their personal growth and changing family dynamics. The plot is cleverly and expertly written and certainly had me guessing and questioning my own preconceptions and prejudices."

Tina Williams - FB A Reader's Review.

Thanks to all my readers who have chosen to buy my books either for themselves or as presents for others - you have made my year. xxx


And for 2018 - Happy Reading!

Split Decision gets a new review

Apologies for the lack of posting recently, however I have been very caught up in the latest book I have been writing, a complex and twisting paranormal tale, which I hope to be bringing to you very soon.

In the meantime, here is another great review for Split Decision which has just come in.

"I recently read Carmen Capuano's new book 'Split Decision', this is the second of Carmen's books that I have read; the first being 'Ascension' (and you can read that review here: http://bit.ly/2iQK17G). To be honest I wasn't sure what to expect from Split Decision, particularly, as a Young Adult novel, it was so different from the dystopian chaos of Ascension. Nevertheless, overall I really enjoyed it, and couldn't put it down until I had finished it.

The plot of this story I thought I'd guessed, but as I read on, I realised that I wasn't such a good detective as I had thought. The key part of this book is the split element. At chapter six the book splits into two halves telling two parallel stories: one on a date with Rhys, the other on a date with Nathan, and how the two pan out - it reminded me of Gwyneth Paltrow in 'Sliding Doors'. I would love to go on and talk more about the twists and turns of the book but I find I cannot do that without spoilers! 

I think one of the most important things about any book is the characters, whether you warm to them and whether they feel properly three dimensional and not just words on a page. As far as characters go in this book, I thought they were written well. The main character, Natalie, had a strong voice and personality, and I felt she developed a lot over the book whilst remaining true to character. The male characters is difficult for me to review without spoilers, as it is not until nearly the end where you get told which date is which. Cleverly Carmen kept it unclear throughout which guy was which, by playing with what you, as the reader, thought you knew about them, and how you thought each guy would act. What I would have liked to have known at the end perhaps, is why she made the decision that she did. In this book, which also reminded me of the film 'Taken', there were clear good characters, and bad characters, and whilst I am fully aware that eighteen year olds can be villainous, I think they could have done with having a couple of the 'bad' characters being a little older than teenagers. I did however like the drama, the high stakes and I think what is done best with the book is how at the end of each chapter you're left wanting to know more. 

I thought this book was super readable; it kept a really good pace, and kept the mystery and drama throughout. There were some cliche moments, but they were also sweet and I could imagine a sixteen year old doing and saying those things. It was a clever book that played with what the reader thinks they know, the important word there being thinks. It was such an interesting premise the split chapters and it was very enjoyable to read!" 

Now order your copy in time for Christmas. x

"Gripping Story."

Here is the latest review for Split Decision to arrive on Amazon.

"Gripping story. I have just finished reading this. WOW!

Had to sit and read the last few chapters in one go, so gripping, such a different story from the usual, well done."

I have to admit that even as the author of this book, the story gripped me from beginning to end. And it is indeed an unusual tale.

So if you're looking for an unusual present for Christmas, why don't you get a signed copy of one of my books for that special person? You can even enclose a special message of your choice. Just take a look at the reviews on Amazon, to decide which is best for you.

Contact me for details on carmen.capuano@ymail.com or by text on 07757559091.

Happy reading. x

Christmas and alone?

Christmas is that funny time of year where there's tinsel and brightly coloured decorations everywhere - and yet for some, desperation beckons. Isolation and despair can be reflected in every shiny bauble, illuminated in every twinkling light; in a world that's bustling with people in every direction you look, its strangely easy to feel so miserably alone.

Funnily enough, I spoke about this yesterday with someone who is suffering and feeling alone. I hope that my conversation helped and I hope that for at least those few minutes, the person knew that here was someone who gave a damn.

And I'm not alone, am I? Because we all give a damn. That's the exact reason so many of us frazzle ourselves at Christmas, trying to catch up with as many friends and family as possible. But what about those of us who have no family? Whose friends are all busy with their own extended families? It's these people who are hit the hardest.

So if you fall into that category [and before my children, I did for many, many years] then don't suffer in silence. Speak to someone, a friend or a neighbour, and get out of the house as much as you can.

And remember - there's always another door to be opened, another window to let light through. You just need to reach forward, someone will be on the other side.

If that seems just too much, please, please phone the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90.

Merry Christmas. XXX

 

So Christmas is looming - which means of course that we have been in this house for almost a year. One whole year and I'm still referring to it as the new house. It's not that I haven't settled in, because I have, or that it doesn't feel like home, because it does. So what is it then?

I actually think it's a state of mind. This past year has gone in such a flurry of activity, and I've been such a hive of industry, I almost haven't allowed myself to believe that a year has passed. I've written two whole books and made inroads into a third, decorated, weeded and done all the normal household stuff and yet I'm still wondering if I could have done more, been more industrious...

So on that note, I am making a plan. You know how I love a plan. Next year I will write Volume VIII of the Owners before I write any other books. This is a pivotal volume, for it starts to bring the story back to San and Loni and all the other characters we left in Volume I, because they still have so much to say, so much to do.

In Volume VIII therefore, we will see how Sophia became the leader of her people - what particular things happened in her life to bring her to the exact point at which she meets Little and Loni. We will find out about the tragedies that drive her forward and the challenges she has had to face.

Similarly, we will find out more about Rian, about his unhappy early life and how all that happens then, puts him on the very path that will one day ensure that he meets San.

This will be an emotional book; powerful and strong, full of resolve and purpose, just like its main characters, and I can't wait to start it. Both Rian and Sophia have been patient with me. They have waited in the back of my head for their time to emerge fully into the light. Next year will be their time.

And writing their tales will be no easy task. It will be draining and emotional, but I hope that it will be cathartic both for me, and for its readers. If nothing else, it will give Rian and Sophia the freedom they deserve.

So until then, and just in case I get caught up in Christmas and New Year and don't have a minute to blog again, let me say,

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR, READERS!

I hope 2016 has been great for you and that 2017 will be wonderful!

And if you get one of my books as a stocking filler, I hope you enjoy it. X

Merry Christmas!

A few weeks ago I made my annual pilgrimage to Scotland. I drove for over six hours in a car that was packed fuller than a sardine tin, with me, two teenagers, one pre-teen, two largish dogs, and a mound of luggage which included a mini-fridge [so that we could have cold milk for our cereal, at the Travelodge where we were staying].

And this year, as indeed it had the year before, and the year before that, the Glasgow Motorway [as I like to call it in my technical way] snared me, savaged me and spat me back out in a whimpering heap.

Every single year I get to a point just outside of Glasgow where the motorway signs seem to indicate that I should travel in two opposing directions at once, in order to arrive at my chosen destination. At this point, ever cool headed, I resort to my usual asking of the kids, “Which way, left or right?” and when no answer is forthcoming, I resort to yelling, eyes wide and wild, little veins of red showing through the whites, “WHICH WAY DO I GO? OH DEAR GOD I’VE GONE THE WRONG WAY!”

And this year was no different. Except for one notable exception. I took the wrong exit as usual, knowing that I always did but unable to actually remember which one was the right one… But partway through trying to rectify it and get back onto the motorway, I actually recognised the landmarks due to the fact that I had gone wrong at exactly the same spot the previous occasion and the one before that and the…

This, if nothing else proved a point - I am not beyond learning. Perhaps not enough to stop myself from making the mistake in the first place, but at least enough not to compound the issue when I do.

This was particularly obvious when I had to drive into the centre of Glasgow and found that there was a strange one-way system going on which meant that at all times you could see where you wanted to get to, but couldn’t physically get there unless you suddenly and inexplicably acquired the strength of Atlas and lifting the car aloft on one shoulder, were able to hoist it through pedestrian areas and the wrong way up one way-streets.

So why don’t I use a map or a sat-nav? Well the answer to the satellite navigation conundrum lies buried in a previous column and as for the map… The truth is that I am a Glaswegian by birth, so I kind of have this belief that I can find my way around, if not by memory, then by osmosis, where I basically absorb the knowledge unconsciously from strangers passing by. Hey why not? – They are Glaswegian, I am Glaswegian – can’t you catch knowledge like you do the common cold?

Apparently not! Maybe this Christmas I will treat myself to a map… then again perhaps that would just ruin the annual adventure.

Merry Christmas!

Moving!

Ok so here's where it's at... my back is all healed thank goodness and now in fact I think it was a strange virus as others are telling me they have had the same thing.

The house is getting packed up relatively easily.... and I have been moving some stuff to the new house every day for about a week as I am having to be there for various workmen anyway.

Tomorrow I am moving my high heels in - that's a feat [pun intended] in itself. And on Sunday and Monday we will do the actual move with the movers.

I have the laminate for the lounge and hallway arriving on Tuesday so no Zumba that day unless I can shimmy whilst unpacking [there's a thought!]

There's a workman coming on Wednesday to fit the laminate, decorate the lounge and do lots of other things. Since he isn't Superman he will be there for a few days I guess but the house will be completely done before Christmas.

As you know it had been my intention to do it myself but to be perfectly honest he will do a better job and I will live longer without the stress. I will be bagging up and getting rid of lots of things during this process and actually can't wait.

For the rest of my plans, well you will just have to keep reading this blog, won't you?

 

In  the meantime, treat yourself and buy one of my books.

A little bit of The Letter

I am so far behind it's unbelievable and with Christmas now breathing down my neck, I'm struggling to catch up. So today I have ignored everything else and fed my heart, working on The Letter, which is almost completed.

Here is the latest paragraph:-

He sounded seriously perturbed but not for the reason he ought to have been, she suspected. “You joshing me lady?” he enquired.

“No, Sonny, I’m not ‘joshing’ you,” she reiterated his vernacular back at him. Those words, the sentiment they conveyed, everything was so alien. Here in the middle of a hospital car park, relaying this sort of information over a phone whilst a former boyfriend and the love-child of her dead husband looked on…what could possibly be surreal about that?

Poor Fran. But there's a light at the end of the tunnel...she just has to get there.

Happy Reading.

Don't forget I am attending several fayres in the lead up to Christmas. Come get your signed copy of Split Decision or The Owners series.

Coming Event

On the 26th November I will be selling signed copies of Split Decision at the Christmas Fayre at Lordswood Girls' School in Birmingham. 3.30-5.30

There will be the usual variety of stalls and I will be happy to talk about my writing and characters to all passers-by. Hope to see you there.

 

Happy Reading!

Coming event

On Thursday 3rd December you will find me at The Swan pub in Fairfield from 6-8pm.

I will be selling signed copies of my books and will be available to chat about books, writing, Christmas or almost anything! [I do love to chat!]

There will be a variety of stalls selling everything you could need for Christmas and the festive season, including gift ideas and of course you will be able to partake in some mulled wine and mince pies whilst you are there... so see you then!

Until then - Happy Reading!

Something in the air...

Do you remember being eight? Cast your mind back to that time all those years ago...
 
It is still dark, the first light of morning has not yet penetrated the deepest, blackest sky and there is a chill in the air.

You are up early, way too early for anyone else in the house to be awake. Every room lies still and quiet, its inhabitants lost in the world of sleep. Only you are awake within the whole house.

You alone are aware that this day will be magical, that this Chritmas will hold everything you ever wanted; that the presents lined up so neatly under the tree are not just mere gifts, trinkets and toys bought from shops and carried home with heavy arms...
 
They are instead the fragments of dreams, gossamer threads of hope and fantasy made real, and bound to the world by love and generosity.
 
Do you remember that feeling, that excitement? That's EXACTLY how I feel right now... and I'm loving every minute of it!

Happy Reading.

 

REPOSTED AS REQUESTED BY YOU

I referred to this post during Holiday Heaven or Holiday Hell  but some of you could not find it, so here it is again, just for you!

Welcome back! I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year. Mine unfortunately was a mixed bag and I suspect it will continue to be so for some considerable time :(

Anyway as they say in Scotland, "out with the auld and in wi' the new!"

Now I would like to tell you a little tale of what happened to me just before Christmas.

'Twas the night afore Christmas [actually it was the 23rd but what the heck] and all was still and quiet all around. I had a friend staying over and the house was festive and Christmas looking. Tinsel adorned picture frames, cards littered the mantelpiece and hearth and there was a large glowing fibre-optic tree in the lounge window and another two scattered around the house.

As usual I had several items which had just sold on Ebay, one of which was my old dining room table set and I was awaiting its collection. My friend and I had just returned from walking the dogs and both humans and canines were dishevelled and muddy.

The children were excited and all around us there was much high pitched talk and laughter, children racing each other up and down the stairs and causing the biggest dog to whirl around and around, trying to catch her own tail in anticipation of some extraordinary event. The very air was charged with adrenaline and the scent of some long awaited pleasures and surprises.

It was at that precise moment that the doorbell rang and I ushered in a very dapper looking Asian man who turned out to be my Ebay buyer. Having returned late from the walk, I had not had time to dismantle the table as I had assured him I would do, so I did as any insane Scottish five-foot-two author would have done - I lied!

"I was thinking that to save you the bother of having to assemble it with all its various parts," were there various parts, I had no idea but I was into the bluff now and damned if I was going to fall at the first hurdle I encountered, "and as I knew you were bringing a big van for the collection," I had known no such thing but luckily he had turned up in a big white van, "you might want to take it out assembled and save yourself some bother." I actually managed to nod sagely at myself as if it was the best idea ever spoken aloud.

The dapper Asian gentleman agreed. So we began, the Asian man at one end of the table and my friend at the other. We tried to manoeuvre it through the lounge door into the hall ...no way was that happening! The legs of the table almost jammed in the door frame and we had to beat a hasty retreat.

But of course there was the piece de resistance - the patio doors which led from the conservatory to the back garden. We got the table back through the double doors from lounge to dining room and then dining room to conservatory and finally the outside with no ill effects. But the brick walls of the side passage which leads from back garden to front were a daunting obstacle. Unbending and unyielding they stood steadfast in their foundations and taunted me with their narrow confined space.

There was nothing for it but to dismantle the table - there would be no other way of removing it from the home. My mind searched through the old memories of the ex-boyfriend who had assembled the table originally. I remembered there had been a lot of cursing and many tools and instruments used in the process. But for goodness sake, it was a table...not a build-your-own-house-kit, how complicated could it be? Then I remembered that half-way through the job he had left to buy some bolts...there were bolts holding the table together! My blood ran cold. How on earth was I going to get the table dismantled with the new owner looking on? In absolute panic I turned to my friend.

Like a horse fed on a diet too rich in oats I must have resembled nothing more than a panicked little pony [I would have liked to say horse but that's stretching the truth a little too thin.]

Lips pulled back in a tight grimace and eyes rolling wildly, I assured the buyer that my friend would have the table dismantled in a jiffy. The Asian man went back outside to tell the van driver that there was a delay. It was at this point that it started to rain.

Huge sheets of glacier drops shattered to the ground, soaking everything in their path within seconds. Like rapiers, the raindrops sliced through clothing and footwear; mini heat-seeking missiles which leached the warmth from bones and the humour from hearts.

I could tell that by now the Asian gentleman was no longer impressed. I went back inside to see how my friend was faring.

Like an old beloved relative who is past his prime but wishes to be shackled to the home he has known and loved for so long, the table seemed to be resisting all his efforts to dismantle it. And even more unfortunately the house appeared to be colluding with it! I watched transfixed as the first screws were removed and promptly fell into the cracks between the dining room floor boards. I lunged across the room and using a butter knife, began to frantically gouge the minuscule gap in order to retrieve the screw. Hair plastered to my scalp by rain and the thin sweat of fear and embarrassment I grappled with it until I managed to clasp it in my damp palm.

Meanwhile my friend had moved on to the bolts. The table fought bravely, seeming to withdraw the bolt heads deeper into their holes and securing them there with a determination I had not known an inanimate object could possess. My friend persevered. The table resisted. My friend grunted and groaned. The table remained quietly victorious. Until with a quickness of wrist and keenness of eye my friend held the table a certain way, twisted the bolt whilst simultaneously pushing away from it and in one fell swoop, the table was finally undone, mastered, defeated.

And somewhere inside the very pit of my stomach it felt like a hollow victory...perhaps it was the presentiment of things yet to come...

We carried the table remains outside. By now the unrelenting rain had turned to hailstones of the most frightening kind. Huge balls of ice struck us as we hurried the wooden parts to the two men waiting in the white van.

It was on the first return journey that my friend turned a peculiar shade of white. "Get a bit of paper and take down their registration," he hissed at me theatrically.

"Why," I hissed back, just as theatrically [I hate to be outdone and have a terrible competitive streak.]

"Just bloody do it!" he sniped back, seemingly in a mood not to be outdone. But something about the thin set of his lips and anger in his eyes made me bite back any words which came immediately to my mind.

So it was that I stood outside of my house, in slippers and drenched clothing, in front of the van and tried to look as if I were inconspicuously eyeing up my neighbours property when in fact I was memorising the licence plate of the van for God knew what reason.

But being me, I could not bear the suspense and begged my friend to let me know what all the cloak and dagger stuff was about.

"You know when we went out with the first lot of wood from the table?" he said slowly, as if talking to a demented five year old.

"Yes?" I said, trying and failing to hide my annoyance.

"Well I noticed my car door was slightly open and the glove compartment lid was down... and my satnav is gone! Those men have stolen it."

"Well, I will go and confront them!" I said, feeling like I could now take on the world even though my knees were knocking. I told myself it was temper and sheer anger but in the calmer light of day as I write this I am less afraid to admit that yes, there was a little bit of fear in there too.

"No!" he said. "They will deny it and you have no right to search them. "We will have to phone the police."

I watched the two men battle the elements and lock up their van, all the while willing myself to go shove a banana up their exhaust pipe or a nail in their tyres, anything, everything that would prevent their leaving and prompt them into full disclosure and repentance, culminating in them returning our stolen property.

But of course, none of that happened. instead I snatched the money for the table from the man from behind a half-closed door and then slammed it shut in his face, hating myself for being so inadequate.

Then I reached for the phone.

The police, I have to say were very understanding. They were also very quick. Unusually so. I guess that should have started alarm bells ringing in my head...

"We have a rapid response team on the way and there is a helicopter in the area," the 999 controller informed me.

"Oh, um, ok," I responded. "But you will probably not be able to catch them, they left a few minutes ago," I explained.

"Do you know where they were headed caller?" she asked.

"They are on their way back to London," I related what they had told me.

"London, eh?"

Ok so at this point I should have known that things had become more than a little farcical I guess. But you know what? When wrapped up in the situation as it is actually unfolding, you cannot always see the wood for the trees. In my defence, Your Honour!

"So will you let me know what happens?" I asked.

"We have stopped them and are doing a full search on them as we speak," she stated triumphantly.

Now whilst we had been on the phone I had heard several police sirens but could not bring myself to believe it was in response to my call. But yes, it appeared that indeed it had!

Then the police controller said something which made it all fall into place. "We were in your area anyway as there have been a number of thefts within the past twelve hours, many involving satnavs and we think it is a gang targeting your area. With your help we might just have caught them. Hang up now caller as a constable is on his way to your house with more information."

I thanked her and duly hung up.

No more than ten minutes later, two very soaked PCs arrived at my house with a satnav.

"Is this it?" they asked brandishing the said article in my face.

"No," I stuttered dejectedly. "Did you find any others?"

"Well here's the thing..." he said slowly, strangely using that same tone of voice my friend had used on me earlier, the one that made me feel about knee high to a grasshopper and only half as intelligent.

"We searched the men extensively. We made them empty everything out of their van." He didn't say 'in the torrential rain and hail' but I felt the words anyway. "We made them unlock every box and empty out every holdall and bag in the van..." And oh dear God the feeling in my stomach was telling my head and heart things it did not want to know.

"We looked everywhere and there were none of the stolen goods from any of the houses." He looked me in the eye and we both knew he knew I was an idiot. "Is it possible that the theft had occurred before these men arrived and that their arrival was just a coincidence?"

It was of course the only logical answer and I was doubly humiliated. Not only had I caused innocent men to be pulled over and virtually strip searched but I had not even been aware of the burglary in the very first place!

I bowed my head in shame and felt the weight of life upon my shoulders as the policemen trudged away, back to the innocent men who waited still bent over their van in the rain and hail, searched and grappled with to within an inch of their lives. Treated like ghetto drug dealers - because of me!

So now every time I  go to my Ebay account and view the feedback, I cringe. Nothing has been posted there - yet - but I imagine it nonetheless. It will read something like this:-

"Avoid like the plague. This woman will lure you to her home with promises of Ebay bargains but whilst you are there she will waste your time, snatch your money from your hand and then have you strip searched by the police on departure. AVIOD AT ALL COSTS!!!"

So dear readers, this blog post is my way of an open apology to those poor innocent men.

Now can I interest anyone in an only slightly used dishwasher?

Anyone?

[N.B. The above is a true story - unfortunately for all participants.]

2015

Have you had a merry Christmas and New Year readers? Have you eaten and drunk your fill, kissed your loved ones and revelled in the warmth around you? I hope so. Because the alternative is not good!

Don't worry, I'm not going to get all dark and brooding with you. Well ok, maybe just a little then. This is a difficult time of year for many people, a time when they feel lost or afraid, without comfort or solace in their lives. Believe me, I have known this from first hand experience, although I have always been lucky enough to have had more than a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

Recently, however, I was faced with someone who struck me as such an individual. Crippled by a severe mental condition and fed a diet of prescription drugs, he should have been a spaced out zombie but instead I found him to be articulate with a quiet grace. He radiated an ease and serenity that most people could never achieve with a lifetime's trying. In fact, he reminded me somewhat of Bubba's character from The Green Mile [heart-breaking film].

We are a strange species us humans and I think that had I not ended up being an author, I would have been well suited to anthropology, as watching people's reactions to things fascinates me. To understand what makes people tick, what motivates and defines their actions would be a fine thing indeed, although I suspect that the study would be infinite in its course.

Do not concern yourself unduly, for I am sliding into this frame of mind as I prepare to restart my latest novel from where it left off before Christmas. A dark, supernatural type fantasy, it delves into the human psyche deeper than even I thought it would.

As an author it is easy to become so immersed in your work that real life seems almost wishy-washy in comparison. Colours are never so bright as when they are described in minutiae on a pristine page, emotions never so heightened than when dissected by a pen. That's why this has been such a good break for me. But now it is almost time to begin to turn my mind back to the tales which jostle in my head, the characters who fight for my attention...

So one last thought before I let my mind be devoured by the darkness... 2015 is here already. It will only come once in your life, so make the most of every day, of every minute, to make those around you know how much you care.

Have a happy and joyous 2015 readers.

Carmen.

Almost Christmas!

Well Christmas is almost here, the trees are up and the kids are excited.  So maybe at this time of the year it is understandable that my thoughts have turned in the direction they have...but first let me explain a little.

I am not religious. I have friends who are deeply religious and others who are completely atheist. I am happy to let each be to their own. However, this current book is a very Dan Brown affair. I had known from the first that it was about religion, but hadn't counted on how intricate and twisting it would be, to call into question the very nature of our existence.

If you have attended one of my author talks, you will know that I seldom know how a plot will unfurl, so it came as rather a surprise. But I am enjoying each revelation!

Here is a little snippet where the local Preacher comes to a realisation.

“As for the help and the luck, well I guess that’s where I come in,” Isaac sighed. “Perhaps I could have been a happier man if I had never found out what I have discovered today, but that ignorance is now behind me. Yet I cannot walk into the future with the knowledge that I did nothing to help right a wrong, weighing heavily on my back…”

He slipped from his seat on the pew to a kneeling position on the floor. Facing his alter he made the sign of the cross and folded his hands in prayer.

      “Father I am but your servant. Your candle in a vast darkness that is of your making. I have no power to light the way ahead, nor to cast off the shadows which follow my every footstep. Yet I beg your help to aid these two good women in their search for what is right, for what is just; for what your will desires. Help me be strong so that I may in turn help them. Amen.”

Merry Christmas and Happy Reading x

Hi folks, things are too frantic to write a post right now so I'll leave you with this teaser...I have a really funny but true-life story to tell you when Christmas is over.

Until then Merry Christmas and Happy New Year !

And of course - Happy Reading as ever.

Carmen.