Merry Christmas and may 2025 be as interesting as 2024 but in a nicer way...

 Merry Christmas one and all. 

I'm not going to lie, 2024 has been a challenging year but then, haven't they all? There have been some real highs and some spectacular lows. 

I set up Filmmakers United CIC and Envisage International Film Festival which is already receiving lots of film submissions, and I have realised a tonne of things, both metaphorical and actual. I've watched some amazing films whilst hosting the Stratford on Avon Film Festival and the Birmingham Horror Film Festival and I've been nothing but impressed by the standard of the films and documentaries. 

Now that I'm watching and rating the submissions that are pouring in for Envisage International Film Festival, I'm humbled by the talent I see around me, so much so that recently whilst watching a much acclaimed film on TV by a globally-known director, I ended up comparing the new films to that older one. 

The acting in the old film is still phenomenal but everything else has suffered the curse of the passage of time. The dialogue was dated, the camera skills clunky and it was too heavy in close-up "dramatic shots". But more damning was the attitude and concept of the film which centred around the fact that a man had been imprisoned for rape but - and get this -  it was most likely wrongful imprisonment because the prosecuting lawyer "had buried" the fact that the "girl was promiscuous". Sorry, what? 

I'm not going to delve into societal changes which are now reflected on our screens - that's a whole different conversation. My point is that line would never have been written in a modern film - and the world is a better place for that shift. And yet I am jarred by the realisation that I have found myself emotionally back where I was in my twenties, striving forward, desperate to change the world for the better, but this time filled with less hope and more acknowledgement that I am but a minute speck in the universe. 

Recently having had Covid for the umpteenth time I missed a social event I was due to attend and afterwards I was told I was missed. I think the surprise on my face showed. I can't imagine anyone missed me at all. And yet this year has brought great validation for my work from both my peers and from those much more established and higher up the industry ladder than I. 

My little animation got five film festival nominations, one of which was from the Royal Television Society no less, and I have genuinely lost count of the amount of people who told me they were touched by it. TV commissioners have gone out of their way to tell me how much they love my scripts and people I have worked with have given genuine praise and  congratulations. I've been told over and over that I'm a joy to work with and that my work deserves success and yet I feel like a coiled spring inside. 

All my life I've aimed to make the world a better, kinder place. I've rescued animals, I've volunteered for charities, I've done a tonne of stuff that might have impacted one or two lives for the better, but never really made a huge difference anywhere. My plan remains to use the profits from my various companies to do the job better. But there is still so much cruelty everywhere. I turn on the news and am bombarded with sickening images and stories. Instagram and social media in general is a scroll through cruelty interspersed with vacuous people sharing pointless posts. 

I spent two days this week trying to find the owners of a very ill cat I'd found before it got put to sleep; I rescued lots of pigeons and birds which didn't make it and my soul aches with the seeming futility of it all. And then yesterday I saw the most beautiful, lush fox in my garden, and I was reminded that there is still so much beauty in the world. So much to still keep fighting for. 

Next year I shall be launching several new books and have a lot of exciting news to announce so until then I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. But if you are like me and not currently filled with the joys of the season, just remember you're not alone in feeling more than a little blue. 

Until 2025... x 

 

Why I do what I do

Two weeks ago I released the family drama The Boy Who Rescues Pigeons. It was to be my third book release of 2023. (I wrote about my inspiration and reason for this book which you can find if you scroll down a few posts.)

Somewhere between releasing the dystopian science fiction novel Future Imperfect and The Boy Who Rescues Pigeons I realised I needed help. If you've been following my books, you'll already know that all my profits go to animal charities, animal rescues and children's charities, so paying for advertising has always been contra-intuitive for me. I wanted to be able to give money to the various global charities and rescues, and I couldn't do that if I was spending the money on advertising... But sales were less than great. And little money coming in meant that little money could go to good causes. 

And then a strange thing happened. The interest in The Boy Who Rescues Pigeons was obvious, even before I released the book. This interest has far outweighed any of my other books and the love that I have felt from readers and other authors has taken my breath away. Two in particular have been a great source of information on marketing and advertising, things I'd never really done before. Between them they have advised me on a variety of marketing approaches, all of which I'm trying out. Hopefully the money spent on advertising will generate more money that I can use to help save and improve animal and children's lives. 

So why do I give my profits away? Well I'm naturally frugal (some would go so far as to say tight), but I prefer the term careful. I'm not a shopper, I don't eat meat and I don't like fine wines. I'm generally happy with a Greek salad and a shandy. I don't often go on holiday as I have a low boredom threshold and I miss my pets too much and I have no expensive hobbies. Sounds boring, right? Well it probably is to most folks. 

But it serves my purpose. Back when I published my first few books, I stood in the middle of the Bromsgrove branch of WHSmith and sold signed copies and every penny of profit went to a charity to support a young, disabled local girl. Being able to help her and her family in this small way made me feel a hundred times better than any material possession could ever have done. So it's not an entirely altruistic one-way transaction. I get something from it too. If I can save one cat/dog/squirrel/pigeon or help a child, then my time on this earth will have had a greater purpose. And that's what drives me. 

Since I began writing, I've used my profits to help a number of other charities globally. I've never given more than £50 at a time to any cause, so we're not talking life changing sums of money for them, although I hope one day to be able to do that, but it's enough to help ease their struggle just a little. And sometimes that's the difference between an animal being rescued or not. A life being saved or not. 

Many of my books deal with social issues. Jigsaw Girl (currently reduced to 99p) deals with teenage peer pressure, guilt, self-esteem issues and cutting, Split Decision deals with coming of age insecurities, pressures and dangers, and The Boy Who Rescues Pigeons deals with isolation, lack of understanding, loneliness and a social inability to fit in. They are things that most of us will encounter in one way or another during our lifetime. Life can be tough. My books are not self-help manuals, they are compelling stories that I hope help people make sense of the world around them; that let readers see that they are not alone; and that have the power to make people really stop and think. 

So now that you know all about why and what I write, I do hope you'll take a look at some of my books. Your purchase will help change the world just a little. Doesn't that sound like a good enough reason to buy?

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About the release of The Boy Who Rescues Pigeons

 A lot of people have asked me why it's taken me so long to release The Boy Who Rescues Pigeons. The answer is simple and yet exceptionally emotionally complex. 

I wrote the book back in 2009 or thereabouts and edited it ready for publication. But I didn't publish it. I couldn't. I wasn't emotionally ready. But I am now. 

The story centres around Lucas Reverential Pertwee - an unusual boy in an unusual situation. Lucas finds and takes in an injured pigeon and in caring for and helping to heal the bird, he manages to emotionally heal himself. The character of Lucas is based upon me and my eldest child, Ryan. We are both raw, bleeding hearts when it comes to animals. 

But the core of the story is actually about my dad. Or rather my step-dad, Gerald McCammick. He took me in as his daughter when I was six and strove to provide a physically safe environment for me. I make the distinction here because ours was not always an easy relationship. Both of us were emotionally scarred by life and there are things that regardless of how hard you try, you never fully recover from. So we trundled along with the occasional drunken rage on his part and teenage truculent slamming of doors on mine. 

I'm not seeking to trivialise these moments. They were part of our lives. A big part. But they also never really shook the bedrock that our made-family was founded upon. We both knew we loved each other. 

Of course there is much more to this story than I've put down upon this page. But that is for another time. Or perhaps never. 

When I wrote the book I told my dad that I was dedicating it to him. He just smiled and said, "Oh aye, very good Carmen." But I know how much it meant to him. It didn't matter that I couldn't bring myself to publish it for so long. We both knew the dedication was forged in each line of text I'd written. Publishing the book wouldn't give it any more validation than it existing in the first place. And when my dad died a few years ago, it didn't matter that I still hadn't brought out the book. The time wasn't yet right. 

So what made the time right now? I don't honestly know, except that deep inside I recognised the change. I'm 56... and six. I'm still that little girl. I still rescue pigeons. 

The Boy Who Rescues Pigeons is available from June 1st, in time for ordering for Father's Day. Take a look at all my books here.

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