Apologies are required I believe.

To all the other Ceroc dancers at the venue I attended last night, I have this to say : 'please accept my sincere apologies'.

Now I know that you are wondering what I did that was so awful I feel I have to offer a public apology, so I will tell you. But first I have to set the scene a little, so bear with me.

Imagine if you will, a smallish, very flat-footed woman who has low blood pressure which gives her a tendency to dizzy spells. Got that image? Good!

Now dress her in a flowing skirt and top and slide her feet into a pair of neck-breakingly high heels and there I am.

Having previously attended many Ceroc sessions in the past, I had somehow managed to convince myself that even though I had not been to a lesson in over a year, I would magically remember everything, every move, every dip and every signal.

More than that...somewhere in my befudddled brain I had managed to convince myself that in my absence I would still somehow have managed to absorb all the lessons I had missed, as if by turning up on one night, I could suddenly do every step perfectly, having gleaned it almost by osmosis from the dance teacher.

I was wrong. Oh boy was I wrong. I catapulted myself around the room, much to the initial amusement of most of the other dancers. Spinning like a drunken whirling dervish I collided with more than one other dancer, unable to spin on the spot as I had intended. Strangely, their amusement soon wore off.

But worse was to come...on executing a particularly difficult turn, I found the heel of my shoe firmly imbedded in the calf muscle of another lady dancer...and on trying to extricate it, I think I may have sliced rather a lot of skin from her leg.

There was a howl and possibly some blood [thankfully it was too dark to really see but there could not have been much, or we would all have been sliding around in it on the dance floor].

I apologised profusely at the time but the damage was done. I guess the fact that I did not remove myself from the premises immediately, only added salt to the wound, so to speak!

So here it is...people of Ceroc Bromsgrove, I apologise unreservedly.

But unfortunately for you, I had a great time and will certainly be back...

P.S. I was in town today and noticed that the price of football shin-pads had rocketed. Apparently, due to the business law of supply and demand, local demand has risen exponentially and prices have sky-rocketed...

Now there couldn't possibly be a connection there...or could there?

So be warned - I could be heading for a Ceroc venue near you! Get those old shin-pads dusted off! ;)