Merry Christmas one and all.
I'm not going to lie, 2024 has been a challenging year but then, haven't they all? There have been some real highs and some spectacular lows.
I set up Filmmakers United CIC and Envisage International Film Festival which is already receiving lots of film submissions, and I have realised a tonne of things, both metaphorical and actual. I've watched some amazing films whilst hosting the Stratford on Avon Film Festival and the Birmingham Horror Film Festival and I've been nothing but impressed by the standard of the films and documentaries.
Now that I'm watching and rating the submissions that are pouring in for Envisage International Film Festival, I'm humbled by the talent I see around me, so much so that recently whilst watching a much acclaimed film on TV by a globally-known director, I ended up comparing the new films to that older one.
The acting in the old film is still phenomenal but everything else has suffered the curse of the passage of time. The dialogue was dated, the camera skills clunky and it was too heavy in close-up "dramatic shots". But more damning was the attitude and concept of the film which centred around the fact that a man had been imprisoned for rape but - and get this - it was most likely wrongful imprisonment because the prosecuting lawyer "had buried" the fact that the "girl was promiscuous". Sorry, what?
I'm not going to delve into societal changes which are now reflected on our screens - that's a whole different conversation. My point is that line would never have been written in a modern film - and the world is a better place for that shift. And yet I am jarred by the realisation that I have found myself emotionally back where I was in my twenties, striving forward, desperate to change the world for the better, but this time filled with less hope and more acknowledgement that I am but a minute speck in the universe.
Recently having had Covid for the umpteenth time I missed a social event I was due to attend and afterwards I was told I was missed. I think the surprise on my face showed. I can't imagine anyone missed me at all. And yet this year has brought great validation for my work from both my peers and from those much more established and higher up the industry ladder than I.
My little animation got five film festival nominations, one of which was from the Royal Television Society no less, and I have genuinely lost count of the amount of people who told me they were touched by it. TV commissioners have gone out of their way to tell me how much they love my scripts and people I have worked with have given genuine praise and congratulations. I've been told over and over that I'm a joy to work with and that my work deserves success and yet I feel like a coiled spring inside.
All my life I've aimed to make the world a better, kinder place. I've rescued animals, I've volunteered for charities, I've done a tonne of stuff that might have impacted one or two lives for the better, but never really made a huge difference anywhere. My plan remains to use the profits from my various companies to do the job better. But there is still so much cruelty everywhere. I turn on the news and am bombarded with sickening images and stories. Instagram and social media in general is a scroll through cruelty interspersed with vacuous people sharing pointless posts.
I spent two days this week trying to find the owners of a very ill cat I'd found before it got put to sleep; I rescued lots of pigeons and birds which didn't make it and my soul aches with the seeming futility of it all. And then yesterday I saw the most beautiful, lush fox in my garden, and I was reminded that there is still so much beauty in the world. So much to still keep fighting for.
Next year I shall be launching several new books and have a lot of exciting news to announce so until then I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. But if you are like me and not currently filled with the joys of the season, just remember you're not alone in feeling more than a little blue.
Until 2025... x
