Thursday 30 May 2013
Apologies are required I believe.
To all the other Ceroc dancers at the venue I attended last night, I have this to say : 'please accept my sincere apologies'.
Now I know that you are wondering what I did that was so awful I feel I have to offer a public apology, so I will tell you. But first I have to set the scene a little, so bear with me.
Imagine if you will, a smallish, very flat-footed woman who has low blood pressure which gives her a tendency to dizzy spells. Got that image? Good!
Now dress her in a flowing skirt and top and slide her feet into a pair of neck-breakingly high heels and there I am.
Having previously attended many Ceroc sessions in the past, I had somehow managed to convince myself that even though I had not been to a lesson in over a year, I would magically remember everything, every move, every dip and every signal.
More than that...somewhere in my befudddled brain I had managed to convince myself that in my absence I would still somehow have managed to absorb all the lessons I had missed, as if by turning up on one night, I could suddenly do every step perfectly, having gleaned it almost by osmosis from the dance teacher.
I was wrong. Oh boy was I wrong. I catapulted myself around the room, much to the initial amusement of most of the other dancers. Spinning like a drunken whirling dervish I collided with more than one other dancer, unable to spin on the spot as I had intended. Strangely, their amusement soon wore off.
But worse was to come...on executing a particularly difficult turn, I found the heel of my shoe firmly imbedded in the calf muscle of another lady dancer...and on trying to extricate it, I think I may have sliced rather a lot of skin from her leg.
There was a howl and possibly some blood [thankfully it was too dark to really see but there could not have been much, or we would all have been sliding around in it on the dance floor].
I apologised profusely at the time but the damage was done. I guess the fact that I did not remove myself from the premises immediately, only added salt to the wound, so to speak!
So here it is...people of Ceroc Bromsgrove, I apologise unreservedly.
But unfortunately for you, I had a great time and will certainly be back...
P.S. I was in town today and noticed that the price of football shin-pads had rocketed. Apparently, due to the business law of supply and demand, local demand has risen exponentially and prices have sky-rocketed...
Now there couldn't possibly be a connection there...or could there?
So be warned - I could be heading for a Ceroc venue near you! Get those old shin-pads dusted off! ;)
To all the other Ceroc dancers at the venue I attended last night, I have this to say : 'please accept my sincere apologies'.
Now I know that you are wondering what I did that was so awful I feel I have to offer a public apology, so I will tell you. But first I have to set the scene a little, so bear with me.
Imagine if you will, a smallish, very flat-footed woman who has low blood pressure which gives her a tendency to dizzy spells. Got that image? Good!
Now dress her in a flowing skirt and top and slide her feet into a pair of neck-breakingly high heels and there I am.
Having previously attended many Ceroc sessions in the past, I had somehow managed to convince myself that even though I had not been to a lesson in over a year, I would magically remember everything, every move, every dip and every signal.
More than that...somewhere in my befudddled brain I had managed to convince myself that in my absence I would still somehow have managed to absorb all the lessons I had missed, as if by turning up on one night, I could suddenly do every step perfectly, having gleaned it almost by osmosis from the dance teacher.
I was wrong. Oh boy was I wrong. I catapulted myself around the room, much to the initial amusement of most of the other dancers. Spinning like a drunken whirling dervish I collided with more than one other dancer, unable to spin on the spot as I had intended. Strangely, their amusement soon wore off.
But worse was to come...on executing a particularly difficult turn, I found the heel of my shoe firmly imbedded in the calf muscle of another lady dancer...and on trying to extricate it, I think I may have sliced rather a lot of skin from her leg.
There was a howl and possibly some blood [thankfully it was too dark to really see but there could not have been much, or we would all have been sliding around in it on the dance floor].
I apologised profusely at the time but the damage was done. I guess the fact that I did not remove myself from the premises immediately, only added salt to the wound, so to speak!
So here it is...people of Ceroc Bromsgrove, I apologise unreservedly.
But unfortunately for you, I had a great time and will certainly be back...
P.S. I was in town today and noticed that the price of football shin-pads had rocketed. Apparently, due to the business law of supply and demand, local demand has risen exponentially and prices have sky-rocketed...
Now there couldn't possibly be a connection there...or could there?
So be warned - I could be heading for a Ceroc venue near you! Get those old shin-pads dusted off! ;)
Sunday 26 May 2013
My Big Night Out
Now forgive me if this sounds strange to you but I have always hankered after the life I could have had if I had lived abroad...warm beaches, soft balmy evenings, days spent by the pool and nights out enjoying myself with my family.
And then yesterday, we got that life.
For one day only, I was rewarded with my dream. The sun shone in the sky, as the children and I looked around some market stalls in the morning, before going swimming in the afternoon. [Ok so the pool was indoors in a leisure complex but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth or pick at details!]
After that we had a nice tea and a little siesta before getting ready and heading out to...a local social club [ta-da!] for a spot of entertainment.
I had never been to this particular place before but was very impressed, not least by the warm and friendly atmosphere and the amount of families with other children present.
More to the point, my own children were animated, chatting and laughing and completely fine about missing the electrical equipment they are so often connected to [playstations, ds consoles, tvs and dvds].
We had a fantastic time. The drink prices were not overinflated, the kids had crisps and squash and I had a solitary glass of wine ...and we danced and had fun. So much so, that I almost had to drag my daughter off the dance floor, where she was insisting that I teach her some Ceroc moves [much to the amusement of my son].
The entertainment was reasonable [the song list was a little dated perhaps but certainly danceable to] and the venue clean and roomy.
But all this is missing the point. It gave me something that I thought only the lure of overseas could ever provide...it gave me my children, fully engaging in doing things together as a family, without worrying who was watching us makes fools of ourselves.
As my Grandmother used to say "you are a long time dead!" She was right. We all get so caught up in the mundane elements of life, the chores that have to be done, the endless lists of things waiting to be attended to...
Well I have made an executive decision now. Those lists can wait just a little longer...and if a couple more things get added in the process, so be it.
Life is for the living. x
Now forgive me if this sounds strange to you but I have always hankered after the life I could have had if I had lived abroad...warm beaches, soft balmy evenings, days spent by the pool and nights out enjoying myself with my family.
And then yesterday, we got that life.
For one day only, I was rewarded with my dream. The sun shone in the sky, as the children and I looked around some market stalls in the morning, before going swimming in the afternoon. [Ok so the pool was indoors in a leisure complex but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth or pick at details!]
After that we had a nice tea and a little siesta before getting ready and heading out to...a local social club [ta-da!] for a spot of entertainment.
I had never been to this particular place before but was very impressed, not least by the warm and friendly atmosphere and the amount of families with other children present.
More to the point, my own children were animated, chatting and laughing and completely fine about missing the electrical equipment they are so often connected to [playstations, ds consoles, tvs and dvds].
We had a fantastic time. The drink prices were not overinflated, the kids had crisps and squash and I had a solitary glass of wine ...and we danced and had fun. So much so, that I almost had to drag my daughter off the dance floor, where she was insisting that I teach her some Ceroc moves [much to the amusement of my son].
The entertainment was reasonable [the song list was a little dated perhaps but certainly danceable to] and the venue clean and roomy.
But all this is missing the point. It gave me something that I thought only the lure of overseas could ever provide...it gave me my children, fully engaging in doing things together as a family, without worrying who was watching us makes fools of ourselves.
As my Grandmother used to say "you are a long time dead!" She was right. We all get so caught up in the mundane elements of life, the chores that have to be done, the endless lists of things waiting to be attended to...
Well I have made an executive decision now. Those lists can wait just a little longer...and if a couple more things get added in the process, so be it.
Life is for the living. x
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