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Thursday, 1 August 2013

Almost effortless weight loss...

Ah ha! Here is a new business venture for me.

I have just weighed myself and I weigh EXACTLY 8 stone 8 pounds. If you would like to know how I achieved a few pounds weight loss over the course of 10 days here are my helpful tips.

1. Go for a tonsillectomy...it will hurt like hell and you won't be able to talk but on the plus side, you won't be able to eat either.

2. Blow your oven up. Now you have nothing to cook on, [even if you did work yourself up to be brave enough to try food once more after undergoing option 1 see above].

3. If you are tempted to eat outside of the home, just forget to bring the hospital-issued painkillers with you. That will soon put a stop to that idea.

4. Ensure that before embarking on steps 1-4 that you fill your freezer with foods that your children love but that you hate, so that cravings are reduced.

and finally

5. Should you get hungry at any time, console yourself with a large cool glass of orange juice, even though you know that your body does not react well to this and spend much of your free time in the toilet.

There now you too can lose a few pounds the Carmen way...

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