Tuesday 20 June 2017

Editing today

Today I am editing my latest book. Here's where I am currently at.

“Eat your dinner, Charlie,” Mum says tightly and I look up to find my little brother looking at me strangely.

“You’re different Scarley.” He hasn’t called me that in years. It’s a cast off from his younger days and I wonder if he actually chose to use it now for some reason, or if it came out unbidden.

“No, I’m not,” I say. But he’s right, I am. How can I not be? Aren’t all of us changed in some way by what we’ve been through? And isn’t it just and right that I should be changed the most? After what I did?

“Yes, you are,” he insists.

“Charlie that’s enough,” Mum warns and he goes back to eating his dinner but keeping his eyes on me.

I feel bad that he got told off. “You wanna match on the Playstation later?” I ask.

“We don’t have one anymore…” he says.

“Oh… I forgot.” And I genuinely had for a moment.  “Well we could watch TV together, what do you think?”

“I guess.” He’s unenthusiastic.

 I try to make it up to him, everything that he’s lost. “I’ll let you chose what to watch.”

“Okay.” But his face hasn’t changed. There’s no excitement there. I berate myself for thinking that the situation could be so easily fixed. Just because Charlie’s only nine doesn’t make his pain any less than mine, his grief any less infinite.
Happy holiday reading!

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